Heading out tomorrow. It’s kinda bittersweet to leave. I came to Arizona in December planning to stay 2 months, and now 6 have gone by. It helps that I’m pretty much homeless, but this is an easy place to be through winter after living in western Oregon for 6 years. The weather is absolutely amazing. But it’s getting to the point where it’s over 100 degrees every day. Not so much fun. I almost miss this kind of heat, though.
But besides the weather, it’s hard leaving my family. I haven’t spent this kind of time with them since I first moved out of our house in California so many years ago. I told myself I would NEVER move back in with them, no matter what. You know, just one of those vows that you take when you’re young and dumb, and arrogantly think you’ve got your life figured out. And while I wouldn’t say the past 6 months qualify as moving back in, it was close enough.
The thing is it’s really different when you spend this much time with your family as an adult. It’s difficult to explain, but seeing your family members as normal emotional adult human beings (as opposed to just mom and dad and brother and all the baggage those labels can carry) is really hard to do without having the perspective that time away allows. So when you come back and spend 6 months with them….it’s just different than a 1 or 2 week visit. I feel lucky to have been able to do it.
But alas, it’s back to the real world soon. Still don’t know what’s in store over the next few months. Hopefully, I’ll be shooting a lot. Oregon is pretty awesome come July. Planning on spending a month or so back east in August. Thinking I might road trip. If not road trip, maybe the train. I want to make it a little photo adventure while I have the time. Also going to a wedding. And visiting some friends I haven’t seen in awhile. Then shooting a wedding when I get back. So yeah, it should be a good summer.
There’s something to be said about being unmarried and without kids at my age. My married buddies with kids often make the comment about how lucky I am, but I know most of them are just fine with the paths they’ve chosen, no matter what they say. But it is liberating, especially when you feel such a strong compulsion to live your life on your own terms. But it’s always tempered by the loneliness that you can’t help but feel once in awhile. And nothing makes you feel lonelier than leaving the ones you love most.